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Pet Sins May 2000

Racism in the Seattle area GLBT community

I live in Seattle, Washington, a very bigoted and racist place to live. I am African American and I can tell you first hand black lesbians are hated and treated so inferior in the GLBT community, especially by the white dykes. A majority of white gays and lesbians don't even like that Obama is in office, putting him down because "He isn't moving enough on the domestic partnership marriage law."

But I digress, let me give you some examples of the hate I've felt, and believe me I have received some very cold shoulders . When I used to go to AA meetings, I had a white lesbian sponsor, X. One day at a meeting she introduced me to her white partner Y. Y gave me what seemed a very "cold and distant" reception. She did not smile and she seemed extremely uncomfortable to even be around me. Why?

How she reacted was irrational. I am extremely articulate, very intelligent, very well-mannered. None of that mattered to Y. Not long after I met X's partner Y, X dropped me as her sponsee, giving a very lame excuse.

I have been out of the closet since 1984 and I have been treated so abominably by the majority of white lesbian women. I have been blatantly insulted, humiliated and disrespected like I wasn't even human. And to most white women I'm not. It has scarred me to my deepest core. I love women of all races, it doesn't matter what color they are. But I like to be shown respect and treated with respect. I want to be treated well! Perhaps spoiled . Problem is I'm not treated like a person but like someone that gets put down.

Seattle has horrible support. In fact, let me take that back - it has NON-EXISTENT support out here! I'm a human being, look past the color you idiots! The very few black women I have met have such low self esteem and seem so desperate for attention that I'm completely just turned off now that I have gained tremendous self-confidence over the painful things I've experienced over the course of several years as a lesbian black woman.

I would love an African American girlfriend if she could only like herself and stop trying so hard. This is the problem I've had living here in the Pacific Northwest! The women are mean or they are beaten down and submissive. Which is why the only things I have to hold onto are my Mother, who is very supportive when she can be - because she can only do so much, and my dream of one day working in films - at least I can strive for that. Because that is the only thing I have is my dreams! I would go out and commit suicide if not for that dream!

Any of you out there show me some love and send some prayers my way because I'm in the most TOUGHEST BATTLE of my life.

P.
2009