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Pet Sins November 2004

A criticism of R. Kelly's Chocolate Factory

I am more than a little upset about R. Kelly's new release Chocolate Factory. I don't know what his life experience has taught him but being a forty year old black man I have learned plenty. I know brothers like myself that have been abused by women and some brothers will not even attend church services. Yes, even there they are criticized for any failure in the home.

Being told "well you are the head, and if the woman is not doing right it's your leadership that's in question not her". Giving card blanch to the woman to act irresponsibly and not be the Queen that God has called her to be. You see we become Kings and Queens as God has placed us in Him, not just because we say we are. You can have a mouse in your home, and he can reside in the family cookie jar, but you know what, that still does not make him a cookie.

There are hardworking, caring and loving brothers who seek to create the environment that God has called for in a relationship. In contrast it seems there are now a growing number of black women who cheat in relationships more so than men and who have lost sight of traditional family values. I see this so-called "Heart of a woman" song as another slap in the face to the African American Males.

We are still the dogs of lore. I have custody of my child whom I fought for in a long court battle. I have been victim of male discrimination in court. We the true African males have time and time again watched our children taken from us only to be given to a woman who would rather be in the streets with her girl-friends and have an assortment of men warm her bed than be a faithful wife.

I know that there are good African American women out there but as this immoral society continues to feed upon itself many have lost sight of their God and their purpose of being. We are bombarded with negative stereotypes of ourselves in the media and yes even in church.

Where is the salute to the brother who is hardworking, faithful to his vows, and loves his family second to God only? The one whose life and character has been shaped by the wisdom of his forefathers and the saints of old. Who has been cheated on and left to raise the children. The one who has labored for his woman and children and watched his spouse reach middle age and decide she wanted more out of life than a husband and kids. Where is our salute?

This may come as a shock but we exist. We are the family backbone and the stabilizing force for our kids not the woman. We are the Black men of valor. Society sees us everyday and never knows our struggle. We accept children that are not ours for the love of our woman. We raise them as our own. We fight against a mindset that will not even let men be the leaders God has called them to be. I believe R.Kelly is associating with some very questionable brothers and must be one himself, if this is his view of the black man in American society. How can he have well known Christian brothers as associates and still write this dribble?

I hope someone can find him some real black men to associate with.