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Pet Sins January 2005

A gay American's experience with Asian racism

I used to have a high opinion of Asian men and women until I became an adult. I have not been able to respect most Asian men I met so far because they are extremely racist or just unfriendly or lack social skills. Most of the Asian women I encountered were over-confident, racist, materialistic, judgmental, and they do not seem to believe in monogamous relationships.

I have a Chinese acquaintance who only dates white guys. Although she does not respect them, she dates them because "Asian men are not attractive, African-American men make good friends, and white men are like puppets"; stupid enough to deal with her ignorance and materialistic attitude.

I was dating an Asian guy whom no one liked. I knew him as a child and felt bad for him because he had no friends. I took him in and treated him like my own flesh and blood. After people noticed he was hanging out with me, staying out of trouble, dressing better, had money in his pockets, and had become more social, they could not wait to spend time with him.

This Japanese guy developed a crush on the guy I was dating any they became very good friends. One month, I got sick and was not able to spend much time with the guy I was dating. During this time the Japanese guy convinced him that he should not be with me because I was not Asian and he did not approve of our relationship. Needless to say, our relationship fell apart. The guy I was dating became very cold towards me and only wanted to spend time with me when his new Japanese friend was not available.

J, an African-American man
2003