About Pet Sins Webzine
Skip navigation and go to main content
Pet Sins January 2006

Does dating interracially indicate a lack of racism? Is being against intermarriage necessarily racist?

This is in response to white male's 2 cents on AWWM and WWBM: You know what puzzles me the most? Some people in interracial relationships have racist views against the orientation of the person they are dating. I remember seeing one guy shouting a comment to a Chinese girl and the next time I saw him he was hugging a Chinese girl. How ironic huh? I didn't confront her about it because I knew how she would react with doubt. I have seem many interracial couples like this, it seems that people can be interracial and racist at the same time.

On the other hand, there is a difference between racism and being against interracial dating. The stereotype that people who are against interracial relationships, e.g. Chinese family who say no dating blacks, are racists is full blow. Being not racist is to respect all cultures so that we can function effectively as a society; interracial marriage is another issue. Each culture has its standards based on ethics, there are simply some other cultures that meet these standards more than others.

North American youths don't seem to understand the issue of their parents being against them dating someone outside of their culture is more of a cultural issue more than a racial issue. Parents just want what, they know, is best for their children.

There are some who choose to date outside of their race for stupid reasons. Some people date to get back at the opposite sex of their own race for made-up reasons. We hear women complaining all the time about how their "Asian or Black men" treat them. Women do this a lot and it usually revolves around the idea of "ego": "I will sleep with you if you can sweet talk me, treat me better and make my 'ego' bigger than the door." Men do in part date for "ego", i.e. "obtain a trophy and show it off", but there is also the curiosity in other cultures that drive their interests in interracial relationships. Some men, especially black men, date to get back at men of different races, just to show that they can take them away their food. Ever heard the line 'Asian men have small penis, Black men have big penis"?

Some Black males will jump to the conclusion that someone is racist, when they find someone against dating someone from their culture. This idea has little juice and is has become exaggerated amongst some non-blacks as well. Racism isn't always the determining factor amongst those against interracial relationships, sadly most parents are blamed for their views which are nothing more that culturally-based.

H.M.
3/2004

Comment from 'J.B.'

You should see some of the stuff that happens at powwows. When I used to dance, white women would tug at my braids or my loin cloth. (And yes, that is as borderline-rape as it sounds.) Thankfully, that's what security's for, to escort tourists who are a bit too friendly off the grounds.

More mundane, you might've noticed Indian-themed romance novels. I notice several things looking at the cover:

1. The man looks like he spends too much time at the gym. Does that look like something a 19th-century Lakota would do?

2. He also looks like he's in his 30s, yet no previous or concurrent marriages are mentioned in the typical romance novel. In fact, modern Western concepts of kinship are generally superimposed onto an Indian backdrop.

3. And he's typically wearing only a loin cloth on the cover, with a snowy background. Does that seem like appropriate dress to you?

And that's just the cover.

So suffice it to say, we now have the opposite problem: Racists with an interracial fetish. Does the typical alt.sex.fetish.orientals subscriber seem like a model of antiracism? Um, no.

Feb 05