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Pet Sins July 2002

Asian women marry Americans for material gain?

I went out for a drink with a Korean American engineer and his Korean wife. After a beer, she said to me, "Isn't it great to be in this country? The big house, the big car, the garden, the big furniture? You could never get that in Korea."

I shuddered. I knew she did not have a green card until she married him. She had been using him for various purposes since the beginning of their relationship. They first met in college when they were in the same class and he was doing her homework for her.

It doesn't bother me if people enter loveless marriages for material reasons, but what bothers me is they often pretend that love is involved. That's a lie. If people make open, mutual arrangements for non-romantic marriages, that is fine by me. But her pretense about love is less than honest.

1997

Comment from 'A.A.'
My Korean co-worker married a white guy. She too got her green card through marriage. She was always talking about the material benefits the marriage brought, saying, "In Korea we do not have this, we do not have that."