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Pet Sins May 2003

Choosing partners based on race? A non-white/non-Asian perspective on the Asian woman/white man and white woman/black man phenomenon

The article on WMAW couples was very interesting, especially in light of my experiences. I am African American, and I attend the University of [], where the Asian population is about 25 percent. Literally every day, I see Asian (Chinese Korean, etc.) women with white guys . And I rarely encounter East Asian women with South Asian men, or even white guys with South Asian girls. Is it because they're too dark? Many of the young Asian men on campus are attractive and well-mannered, as well as intelligent. Yet if I see them with a female, she is Asian (once in a great while I see an Asian guy with a black girl).

IMHO, the white men with Asian girls are pretty geeky. I know we shouldn't judge people by their looks, but it seems to me that many of the white guys who marry/date Asian girls are losers who for some reason or another have been rejected by white women. I know that Asian guys notice this and it must make them upset.

By the same token, I often see attractive black men with white women who are fat, ugly, sloppy, etc. I once went out with an African guy who had dated a fat, ugly, lower-class, sloppy white pig of a woman, but for him to even look at an African (or African American) woman, she had to be educated, attractive, articulate, and come from a middle class family. This is one reason why many African American women become so emotional about the many black male/white female couples -- it seems that some black men will pursue ANY white woman just because the color of her skin.

But it works both ways. A woman I know married a hideous white man who is a pig and a slob. He also has a lousy, nasty personality. She has a college education, and he is a janitor. I am not a respecter of persons, but I KNOW she married him because he is white. Do you think a middle class, college-educated white woman would marry a black janitor? She has always had a negative perception of black men -- she once said she wouldn't let a black man touch her (ironically, she is dark-skinned, with African features). Yet this white guy she married is abusive and cheats on her with trashy white women, much like himself. And unfortunately, she is teaching her children to have a similar disdain for other black people.

I am not against interracial marriages at all -- after all, I am married to a white man myself -- but I think that if someone marries or dates another person solely because of their skin color, then they have some serious issues!

M.T.
2002