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Pet Sins March 2006

Racial preferences for dating - a 'simple physical preference' or a 'racist choice' depending on the beneficiary

In interracial dating forums, some black men defend their preference for white, yellow or brown women, as the case may be, as a 'simple physical preference', not different from some white people's socially acceptable preference for people of the same race with a particular hair color or eye color. They do have a point. But very often, when the same men try to date non-black women, and then find that many of the women they want to date prefer white men, they start complaining about the women's 'racism'.

Why don't they cut the women the same slack they cut themselves, i.e. respect the women's 'simple physical preference', OR hold themselves to the same standard as they hold the women, i.e. do not let physical preferences limit their dating choices? The men who have 'racial preferences' are entitled to their opinion, but they are being unfair if they apply double standards to dating preferences that benefit them vs dating preferences that do not benefit them.

Black straight men are certainly not the only people who exercise this double standard. Many East/Southeast Asian gay men and women make it quite clear they prefer lighter-skinned people to darker-skinned people. They salivate over the people of Europe and rate the people of Asia according to color, and they repeatedly say how they don't find dark-skinned people beautiful. They do not see themselves as racist.

After all, it is only a 'physical preference' in dating, and as long as they are willing to treat people fairly as friends or at work, they're 'ok', or so they think and they're entitled to their opinion. But when the same Asians try to approach white people and get rejected, they start whining about racism.

Have they ever thought about how white people too, have a right to 'simple physical preferences', like themselves? Or perhaps they should entertain the thought that they, too, might have be 'racist'?

T.E.
2006